As we usher in the new year and party-goers around the world revel in the carnival-like atmosphere, i’d like to take a moment or two to make a list of New Year Resolutions for Melbourne.

Melbourne’s New Year Resolution for 2007:

1) More tourists! Hey if the Big Apple is on track to receive 50 million visitors annually by 2015, why can’t Melbourne?

2) John So to take English classes! Perhaps, we may just see our Lord Mayor uttering perfect Queen’s English, to the loud applause of his fellow Chinese countrymen!

3) Higher public transport fares! Yes why not? Melbourne is already experiencing unprecedented levels of fare evaders. So why not increase the fares, and price them out of your everyday Joe Blow?

4) Lower housing prices! With property prices skyrocketing, middle-income Melburnians and eagle-eyed foreign investors (read: me) are having a hard time finding their dream home. Please increase the stamp duty and provide some form of tax relief for home buyers.

5) Some decent Chinese food at affordable prices! It’s an open secret that the chinese restaurants that span busy Little Bourke Street in Chinatown have some of the worst chinese food. The best ones are often found off the little alleys and are also much cheaper.

6) A better representation of Melbourne! I’m tired of watching Anglo-White-Australian news reporters fronting prime time news and game shows. The foreign brigade, including the wogs (Southern and Eastern Europeans), the Asians (South-East and East Asians) and the Pakis (South Asia and Middle East) are exploding across all suburbs. Many of them are 2nd or 3rd generation Melburnians who speak perfect English and grew up receiving Australian education. So why aren’t we seeing more of the foreign brigade in news and entertainment?

7) Extended shopping hours! Let’s face it. Melburnians love their shopping. So why are major shopping and retail outlets closed at 6pm on weekdays? This isn’t Germany.

8) More efficient services! Laid-back Aussies take far too long to get anything done; they’re also guilty of not working past their working hours. Many times i’ve had customer service operators telling me they’d have to get back to me the next day as the company closes in 5 minutes. Fair dinkum!

9) It’s an annual event, so much so many Melburnians don’t bat their eyelids no more - the Victorian bushfires! Perhaps some other form of news will take precedence in the summer months.

Perhaps someone else would like to add to this list?

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