So we usher in the new year with much aplomb and glee. But we lie to ourselves. Deep within ourselves we know that 2008 also means another year of putting up with a public transport system that has broken her water many years before John Howard lost his favour with Australians.

The ban on bikes and unnecessary fare increase ^[1] smacks of desperation and it’s proof – despite the many refutes made by the state government – that Connex has long overlived her stay in Victoria.

What good is banning bicycles from V/Line or all Zone 1 lines during peak hour? As a regular peak-hour commuter, I could count the number of bicycle users on one hand in a week. Simply said, why would the Connex passenger be in the train when he has a bicycle? And all this talk about reducing carbon emissions. No wonder Melburnians are driven to, pardon the pun, drive instead.

I’ve just returned from a wonderful and relaxed five day trip in Sydney with my missus. During this time the only form of transportation we both took was trains, run by CityRail.

Now I won’t say that I’m an expert on public transportation, trains or city planning. But any Melburnians who’s worth his/her salt will – at one look at CityRail’s trains – grudgingly agree that what Connex needs to do is not buy more worthless Comeng trains that stall when a) the air-conditioning fails to work, b) won’t work due to excessive rain and flooding of train lines, c) subject passengers to various degrees of fear and danger, or d) all of the above, but purchase double-storey trains that CityRail currently possesses.

Also, I’ve had the pleasure of enjoying the friendly and personable service offered by the CityRail staff as every other train cabin is staffed by a physical being, not a mindless camera that only operates when the button is pressed.

I daresay CityRail has a bigger challenge ahead as the Sydney network is absolutely massive, and much more complicated than Melbourne’s. Yet, I spy with my little eye an ambition that intends to include the city of Newcastle as part of the CityRail network. And all this while constantly improving their services.

Perhaps I write this with a CityRail slant, and I might not be privy to a fare increase, a ban on the wonderful bicycle or things that go on in Sydney, but five days was all I needed to make an educated observation that Connex could learn a thing or two from CityRail.

Connex needs less fat corporates sitting on their asses who earn in the big bucks and drive around in their 4WD, and more pragmatic professionals who actually take their fucking shitty form of anachronism they proudly call Connex Melbourne Trains.