Located in Waterfront City, Docklands and measuring 11m long, the stunning mosaic mural is a tribute to the greatest Australian entertainers. Created by renowned mosaic artist David Jack and based on an original artwork by Jamie Cooper, the mural captures each of the 100 entertainers in their hey day in a unique tribute.

In fact, the mural is soooooo long, I had to take several steps back just to catch the entire mural in its entirety. Here’s how it looks in its full glory.

Since no one else attempted to answer it, full points to decryption for answering half the question. Good job!

International students (from left) Seonah Kim, Lee Hee Jin, Lee Naree and Moustafa Ibrahim, outside Hawthorn-Melbourne College, are unhappy with the way they have been treated

I pity these kids. They, along with 194 other fellow students from various part of the world, have become victims of a university scandal. Actually, I’ll call it whatever I like. Myopic Australian University Bureaucracy. Let’s Keep Hush ‘Coz They Don’t Speak English Anyway. Let’s Fuck With These Kids ‘Coz If They’re Rich Enough To Study Here, They Are Rich Enough To Fly Home.

It’s not the first time International Students have been fucked in the ass blindside and not given a sympathy kleenex to clean up. Australian universities market their education really differently from most internationally-recognized institutions. There’s a great disparity in marketing tactics between North American and Australian universities. While an average North American college markets herself based on the strength of their education (with no hidden agendas), their antipodean neighbours come with sharpened knives with dollar signs in their eyes.

In Asia, where Australian universities have a huge presence, there’s an untapped minefield of cash cows just waiting to be milked. In Singapore alone, there are at least three ‘international studying’ fairs a year, and Australian universities take up 85% of the shelf space. The figures vary for different universities, but an average of 20% of an Australian university’s funding is kept afloat by ‘off-shore’ money.

I never agreed with the exorbitant sums that foreign students had to pay, and I never will. When I graduated from RMIT last year, my university fees had gone up by 6 - 8% every year from 2005 to 2007. There are almost four Australian students ($5,000) for every International Student on an average university fee of A$19,500 annually (yes, shock gasp horror). Of course there are full-fee paying Aussies within our midst, but they are few are far between. No prizes for guessing why Australia still lauds itself as a world-class education minefield when all they’re really concerned about is keeping their universities afloat with (mostly) Asian money and to keep their staff employed.

But I digress.

Just wish to tell ALL International Students that they might not be seen as human beings in Australia, but they have their basic human rights. Go to the relevant authorities within campus if you feel that you’ve been bullied. When a university threatens you with deportation (and a phonecall to the Australian Department of Immigration and Citizenship is just moments away), they never follow up on it. I don’t know many personally, but hundreds of International Students (friends of my friends) graduate each year without having to attend at least 80% of their classes. In fact, many fail to attend most lectures and a pittance of tutorials and still graduate with good grades.

Think about it. You are seen as a cash cow and the university needs you to keep their accounts in the black and their bored, fat, white, senior partners in the office. Why would they want to kick you out?

Picture and photo: CRAIG ABRAHAM

Hello again and welcome to another series of ‘Where Art Thou’. The picture above is part of a bigger piece of work. What is this piece of work and where is it? Fastest fingers wins!

Answers on Wednesday.

Ghostbusting!

Here’s a funny one for all those who refuse to take public transport (admit it, you’re one of several millions in Melbourne who’ve swore allegiance to your car). I picked up this ghost buster brochure (right: series 6 of 10 Passenger Card) while travelling through the city last week and was laughing my head off just reading it.

In an attempt to ‘revive’ interest in tram transport, Yarra Trams has launched a Did You Know? series of competition where regular all you’ve to do is answer a simple question and a 16GB iPod Touch and a monthly metcard is potentially yours. But who cares about the freebies when the flipside of the brochure just makes your day?!

I like how we're talked down like we're stupid. So. Epic. Funny.

Keep a look out for other Passenger Cards out in the trams. I brought one home and pinned it on my wall ‘coz it really made my day. Kudos to the team who came up with it. Watch out fare evaders! :O

Check out the Yarra Trams website for more funny brochures and win some awesome prizes here.

Cafe Andiamo - Great food and coffee. Pity the staff aren't.

Cafe Andiamo, along Degraves Lane, is one of the more popular coffee and meal spots in Melbourne. It’s a personal favourite of mine, having spent many cold winters and hot summers there with my fiancee and dog. It’s a warm, fuzzy relationship built up over four years. I love it.

Of course, I write this to warn people never to go there again. Unless barbed racial remarks done with unprofessional subtlety is what they are eager for.

Yesterday arvo, my fiancee, her sister and me made our way to Andiamo after running some errands. It was lunch time and naturally, packed to the rafters. We spotted an empty table lane side and sat down. Really, the three of us were in good spirits. Laughing, teasing, gesticulating madly while telling each other a story.

It became clear we weren’t going to be served quickly, so I made my way to the counter to grab some menus. I’m familiar with what they serve, but I felt like an All Day Brekky and wanted to know if they served it during lunch time (alas, they don’t serve it between 12-2pm).

We took several minutes to decide, and my fiancee’s sister decided to call for the staff’s attention. My back was facing the counter, so while mucking around with the girls I flapped the menus around like a lightsaber. Mostly to get the staff’s attention too, but also because I can.

A longtime staff (I won’t mention race, coz it’ll be really obvious) came over. I greeted him. His response?

“You don’t have to wave the menus as I gave you the menus so I’ll know when to come over. This is not Chinatown.”

I was taken aback.

“That wasn’t necessary. Why do you have to go all racial on me? We were just having fun here at the table.”

“I can see your friend calling out to me. You don’t have to wave the menus.” he quipped.

I was incensed. Clearly he had a bad day at work, and must hate the constant stream of customers calling out to him for orders. He must have had one too many menus/hands/fingers/calls directed at him. Of course, who else to take it out on but an Asian.

“This is ridiculous. Why do you have to be so rude? Please shut up.” I told him off as I calmed myself.

The staff grabbed the menus from the table, gave us a ‘fuck you’ look, and walked away from us. Clearly he refused to serve us.

“Fine by me,” I said, standing up while the girls watched in stunned silence.

Of course, I didn’t like the way he started the whole thing, and it was uncalled for. Rude was one thing, but he was employed by Andiamo to serve customers. And taking it out on customers just doesn’t say a lot about the way he regards himself, Andiamo, the people he works with and the food he serves.

I walked up to him having no intentions to start a fight. While adjusting my scarf, I told him calmly that I had taken the menus from the counter earlier because we were not served. The look on his face said it all and he took a step towards me. At this point he was restrained by another long time Andiamo staff (I like him a lot; we chat a little every time I visit the cafe).

On hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have said what I said. But I could not take this lying down. With my fiancee pushing me along, I left him with a parting shot.

“Go fuck yourself. And go back to your own country!”

adrock2xander is not ashamed of what he has said. It’s only natural for someone to defend himself when he’s being harassed racially. Whether at work or at play, this country is great because so many cultures and nationalities are able to co-exist peacefully. Yet, all it takes is one egghead to disturb the peace. Sadly, eggheads like the Andiamo staff are a dime a dozen. If you do not think otherwise, you can go fuck yourself too.

Image taken from www.yourrestaurants.com.au

Is it possible that ALL the media’s attention is focused on this poor little boy ‘coz:

a) He lives in the oft used ‘leafy inner-East’ suburb of Hawthorn?
b) He (potentially) went missing in the oft used ‘leafy inner-East’ suburb of Hawthorn?
c) Media likes to play up a misdeed in the rich, established areas of the ‘leafy inner-East’ suburbs?
d) All of the above?

Cmon, stop with all the press. Shit happens in the West and the media goes ape over it, but when same shit happens in the East nothing goes reported. Similarly, a missing person in the East sparks a media frenzy and I suspect no one would bat an eyelid had it occurred in the West.

Now all I need is a ‘Man bites dog’ headliner from a poor, uneducated Western suburb. Afterall, these kind of bogan activities only happen in the West.

/sarcasm

Image from The Age

If there’s any doubt that Melburnians love the colour black, just have a look at the tram stop one fine weekday morning. A tram had malfunctioned (what’s new, if it’s not Connex, it’s Yarra Trams) and her passengers were caught ‘in the crossfire.’ Apart from a few splashes of colour, just about everyone is decked out in black. Why do Melburnians love black so much? Surely the slimming properties and easy-to-match rumours are just old wives tales?

Spotted a double rainbow last Thursday evening at around 5.15pm after work in Doncaster. Beautiful hues across a red sky, coupled with a freezing cold snap that’s been gripping Melbourne for the best part of three months now. Guess we can’t have everything.

Myself? I do admit to having - at that time - an overpriced Frappuccino every week or so. Young adults don’t baulk at paying $5-$8 for a coffee. In hindsight, it does seem excessive as one can get a complete meal for $5 in Singapore. “What’s that?” you say, “A cuppa coffee costs more than dinner?!” Damn right. I remember having a conversation about how cool it was to be seen consuming a Starbucks coffee with my dad. He’s old school and subscribes to the old Asian ethos of working hard and saving every penny, and doesn’t quite understand the excesses of life. Naturally our Starbucks conversation ended before you could say ‘That’s not carrot cake!’**

There isn’t a coffee (or cafe) culture in this part of the world; couple that with Singaporeans’ receptiveness to new foreign products (mainly America, which means it’s good) and we have a pseudo-coffee addiction. Of course, who the hell knows what a cafe latte, cappucino, long black or white coffee is? Fucking hell, give me a Venti Oreo Frappuccino with whipped cream please. Or if I’m feeling something warm (seldom though, due to the sickening humid weather), I order a vanilla latte. Singaporeans are happy and contented with that. There’s no need to venture out to experience the real coffee or cafe culture. Afterall, Singaporeans are a pretty sheltered bunch, and as long as it’s from America, it’s good. What’s good for America must be good for Singaporeans.

I call Starbucks the fast food of coffee. One reason why it is so popular with Singaporeans young and old (it’s taken them awhile, but I’m sure even senior citizens enjoy an iced mocha!) is the cool relief it provides. The relentless humidity and tropical climate just doesn’t sit well with most Singaporeans, and how else to cool down but the air-conditioned comfort of Starbucks, an ice cold coffee in one hand and a magazine in the other? Pardon my ignorance, but had it not been my trip to Melbourne, I’d never have discovered a genuine coffee experience, with coffee freshly steamed from a trained Italian barista. Four years ago, the word cafe latte didn’t mean anything to me. Now it’s in my Melbourne lexicon.

As I slowly become more aware of the various kinds of coffee that cafes offered and Melbourne’s obsession with all things European, I kinda had a second awakening to my exposure to coffee. Truth be told, I never truly enjoyed the ‘coffeeness’ of my frappuccinos. Mostly, I love it coz it’s cold and it takes my mind off the Singapore heat. But with the weather so unpredictable (and much lovelier I might add) in Melbourne, I saw no reason in consuming Starbucks’s glitterati of overpriced coffee when I could get the real ‘coffeeness’ from cafes at half the price and double the taste. I love the aromatic bitterness that embalms my lips and the hot swirls swooshing in my mouth as my palate distinguishes the lighter notes from the darker undertones. Okay, I kid (and probably don’t know what I’m talking about), but I had fallen completely in love with the taste and culture here. It’s a good way of selling Melbourne, it’s a good way of promoting a facet of life that is inherently Melbourne, and it’s definitely the best way to introduce foreigners to a little vice that most Melburnians indulge in several times a day.

So 61 Starbucks stores are closing or have been closed nationwide. Until I arrived here, it always seemed like a natural occurence for a giant American coffee mothership spreading her wings and slowly squeezing the life out of smaller competitors. Such is the way of life, the ruthless face of a business, where big dogs eat other dogs. Of course, them Starbucks senior managers sitting on a fat paycheck and their arses thought the same and didn’t count on the deep-seated Italian coffee culture that’s operated by mostly families on a small strip next to a busy intersection.

Of course, Starbucks isn’t the only fast food coffee joint in Melbourne. I couldn’t quite believe it when I first saw it, but Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (equally successful in Singapore) has a couple of outlets across Melbourne. Then there is Gloria Jeans and Hudsons Coffee, but they don’t pose a threat to the privately owned cafes as they’re wholely Australian owned. And if there’s one thing Australians are passionate about, it’s their sense of patriotism.

I don’t see Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf going the same downword spiral as Starbucks. The head honchos sitting around the Round Table would have taken a lesson out of Starbucks’s textbook. Besides, they would have known from the get go that breaking into the entrenched Italian coffee culture was an uphill battle.

However there’s no need to press the panic button. For all of Australians’ animosity towards America, they’ll never be able to rid their shores from Starbucks. The huge Asian International Student population in Melbourne, many of them weaned on a diet of Starbucks from Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand and Hong Kong will always cough up the majority of coffee dollars. Walk past the busy (and biggest) Starbucks along Swanston Street and it’s never empty. A thriving Starbucks community made up of foreign students, Melburnians and those willing to pay a premium for coffee. And wadya know, Starbucks Swanston Street has been spared the axe.

I’ll miss my Oreo Frappuccino, but I certainly will not miss Starbucks.

**In Singapore and Malaysia, carrot cake is a main dish that’s fried with eggs and spring onion. When I first saw the westernised version of a carrot cake, I didn’t know what quite to make of it. Tiny portion, steep price and didn’t look half as appealing as the real deal. I had my first westernised carrot cake in 2005, ten months after moving to Melbourne. No prizes for guessing which version I prefer!

Image from http://dev.null.org

What ticks me off is the mention of race. I understand them offenders were caught on CCTV, but surely Whites are involved too? In an everyday scenario, am I right to say that a bunch of Blacks/Asians/Islanders hanging around constitutes a gang and police will tell them to break it up and disperse, while a bunch of Whites sitting around minding their own business aren’t seen as a potential time bomb?

I would like to believe the article I’m reading, but all credibility and fingers pointing to non-Whites goes out of the window coz ‘exact figures are not contained in the reports.‘ How convenient. I’m sure if exact figures were given, the pie chart sitting in the Police Head of Staff will indicate a spike of crimes commited by Whites.

Of coz, the author’s a White too. Now, surely readers of The Sunday Age aren’t all White too yeah? After all, they’re just minding their ‘own business’, reading the papers.