Can we all agree that Melbourne real estate agents are the scum of the earth?  Some would say that lawyers are scum but at least lawyers have years of education under their belt.

Usually when one is advertising an apartment for rent, an agent might point out it’s location, size, or perhaps some features. You would also think that they would check their spelling or possibly even grammar.  Nope.

The Cleanest Appartment In Brunswick…….All New!
$305 p.w.
5/55C DE CARLE STREET BRUNSWICK
One too look at, this totally refurbished 1st floor two bedroom apartment. This property offers a large & sunfilled north facing lounge with balcony, a brand new kitchen with electric cooking facilities, two double size bedrooms with b.i.r’s, and a large brand new bathroom with internal laundry facilities. Other features include brand new window coverings, new carpets (to be layed still), large balcony & off street parking for one (1) car. Located one block from the Sydney Road tram & walking distance to the Moreland Train station, local shops, parks & gardens. Be quick this one will not last !

How many errors did you spot?

Realestate.com.au: Cleanest Apartment in Brunswick

Rickrolled

It’s one thing to get rickrolled on the Internet but out in the public? From Overheard in Melbourne:

You are not safe anywhere.

Overheard in Melbourne: Rickrolled

Club Wah caught this typo on The Age’s website last week.  Not only was it in the by-line but the error was also repeated in the article.

I took my wife to the Comedy Theatre yesterday for a matinee performance of Broadway’s multi-award winning Avenue Q. Growing up in the early to mid 80s (guess that kinda pegs my age into a certain age group!) to the regular introduction of letters and numbers of Sesame Street, it was great to relive something days long gone in the flesh.

Of course, nobody in the audience was expecting anything as tame as the PBS show, so we knew what we were getting ourselves in for. It is the most extraordinary show I’ve ever seen. Who knew puppets could be so funny and touching? Few people would have the chance of experiencing a quality Broadway performance in their lifetime and I’m glad had a chance to say they’ve definitely destroyed my cutesy image of puppets! It’s Sesame Street meets South Park! I won’t give anymore away! It’s so good I feel like double clicking on my mouse……..

The Avenue Q team plays in Melbourne for another week before moving to other parts of Australia. Tickets are very affordable and have been reduced to $49.90 (except Saturdays) and I highly recommend it with your family or date or just friends wanting a good time. Just make sure they’re of ‘mature’ age!

EDIT: I just realised Neil’s previous post has a picture of Lucy the Slut. How’s that for unwitting advertisement placement?

Image from avenueqthemusical.com.au

Spotted this great ad placement in today’s Herald Sun.

Here’s a notice from the friendly people at Highpoint Myer that will either a) invoke your curiosity, b) have you laugh at the staff’s inadequacy or c) all of the above. Obviously written by a staff who hasn’t completed high school. Or worse, an adult who doesn’t know what a pen and paper is anymore.

There’s a reason why I loathe reading forums these days. Kids no longer know how to write with a pen and spend more time ‘writing’ with a keyboard. Or worse, a mobile phone. Clearly, the standard of English drops with the advent of ‘l33t’ (elite) speak. In an unfortunate by-product of the shortening of common words to fit the 160 spaces for short text messaging, grammar is compromised.

Oh how I wished kids these days know the difference between ‘there’, ‘their’, ‘they’re’, ‘your’ and ‘you’re’. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

By the way, how many mistakes can you count on that notice? I count two.

EDIT: typo

Credit: Policespeedcameras.info

I really would like to get out there and report on Melbourne things first hand but like most of us, I have a job and other commitments loosely known as a life.  I’m in awe of other blogs who go out there everyday and take pictures, report on issues including interviewing stakeholders in stories, for free. Bravo.

Well, I have a John Brumby scoop that no other press organisation has…where he shops for underwear. Yes, I saw the premier shopping at David Jones, Bourke Street for some underwear. What was more surprising was how well he blended in with DJ’s customers.  Sorry, I rarely see any Megan Gale looking people at DJ’s but rather people who look like they belong in the Long Room in the MCG.

While I did briefly consider quizzing him on some pressing issues this city is having, I’d figure he probably just wanted to be left alone to do his shopping. Although, I could have let him know that Target is having a 20% socks sale. Maybe next time.

It’s April, which besides all the pranks going on, it’s the start of the Melbourne International Flower & Garden Show and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.  What’s with putting International in every festival and show? The only thing I know about the Flower show is that I noticed the parking lot underneath was full and loads of people bustling around at 9AM this morning. As for the comedy…

This year’s international headliner is Janeane Garofalo, in which I haven’t heard anything from her in about 10 years.  All of her shows have sold out so apparently she is appealing to an audience.

• No Daniel Kitson on the lineup this year is a bit disappointing.
• Ross Noble doesn’t seem to be in this year’s festival either.
• Steven K. Amos seems like a good alternative English pick to Kitson and Noble.
• Dylan Moran is back in the festival after missing last year’s festival.
• Reginald D. Hunter, a man brave enough to appear on QI without sounding stupid, could be worth seeing as well.
• Former lawyer and convict Andrew Fraser’s show could be interesting although I doubt that funny.
• Puppetry of the Penis, a show that never ceases to go away.
• A meal and a show with the Faulty Towers dining experience could be good value.
• Absolutely Silly Old Buggers seems to be a show about 4 old people complaining.

It’s hard to make heads or tail of which shows are good. The Age has a small summary of interesting shows but as they are one of the sponsors, I can’t see them saying any of those shows are crap.

links

Melbourne International Flower & Garden Show

April 1- April 5, Carlton Gardens

Melbourne International Comedy Festival

April 1-April 26

Photos

Focus On Melbourne _ Waterfront City Opening Spectacular

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Well, no surprises there! Where else to take your fornicating activities but a gravity-defying, enclosed and air-conditioned romp!

However I can’t see many people willing to shell out, if I remember correctly, $29 for 30 minutes of ‘air’ time. Them public relations practitioners must have had their work cut out – sure the young couple gave them an unexpected form of publicity, but with these gloomy times few would pay that much just to have a view of, well not much really. The Docklands area doesn’t have anything terribly scenic or iconic that screams “HEY LOOK HERE!”

Oh well, at least that couple had their ‘customer satisfaction’. Good on them.

NowPublic

Tags: London | Melbourne | World | wheel | The Eye | Melbourne VIC | Southern Star | amorous young couple

“You whore you’re only 28 years old and you’ve already fucked half the men in St Albans….”

What a friendly banter between two men from a few doors down.

Gee I’m glad I’m in the other half!