But I digress.

With the inaugural Singapore Day in New York City a runaway success last year, organisers have brought Singapore Day into our antipodean shores. Although registration is required, there should be no reason why you can just waltz up into the grounds as entry is free.

Oh btw, Singapore Noodles DO NOT EXIST. That’s a bastardised version of our famous Prawn Noodles and Hokkien Mee. I’ll be making my way to the grounds soon, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a ‘Singapore Noodle’ stall existed. Or some ignorant foreigner walking around asking for a Singapore Noodle stall.

International students (from left) Seonah Kim, Lee Hee Jin, Lee Naree and Moustafa Ibrahim, outside Hawthorn-Melbourne College, are unhappy with the way they have been treated

I pity these kids. They, along with 194 other fellow students from various part of the world, have become victims of a university scandal. Actually, I’ll call it whatever I like. Myopic Australian University Bureaucracy. Let’s Keep Hush ‘Coz They Don’t Speak English Anyway. Let’s Fuck With These Kids ‘Coz If They’re Rich Enough To Study Here, They Are Rich Enough To Fly Home.

It’s not the first time International Students have been fucked in the ass blindside and not given a sympathy kleenex to clean up. Australian universities market their education really differently from most internationally-recognized institutions. There’s a great disparity in marketing tactics between North American and Australian universities. While an average North American college markets herself based on the strength of their education (with no hidden agendas), their antipodean neighbours come with sharpened knives with dollar signs in their eyes.

In Asia, where Australian universities have a huge presence, there’s an untapped minefield of cash cows just waiting to be milked. In Singapore alone, there are at least three ‘international studying’ fairs a year, and Australian universities take up 85% of the shelf space. The figures vary for different universities, but an average of 20% of an Australian university’s funding is kept afloat by ‘off-shore’ money.

I never agreed with the exorbitant sums that foreign students had to pay, and I never will. When I graduated from RMIT last year, my university fees had gone up by 6 – 8% every year from 2005 to 2007. There are almost four Australian students ($5,000) for every International Student on an average university fee of A$19,500 annually (yes, shock gasp horror). Of course there are full-fee paying Aussies within our midst, but they are few are far between. No prizes for guessing why Australia still lauds itself as a world-class education minefield when all they’re really concerned about is keeping their universities afloat with (mostly) Asian money and to keep their staff employed.

But I digress.

Just wish to tell ALL International Students that they might not be seen as human beings in Australia, but they have their basic human rights. Go to the relevant authorities within campus if you feel that you’ve been bullied. When a university threatens you with deportation (and a phonecall to the Australian Department of Immigration and Citizenship is just moments away), they never follow up on it. I don’t know many personally, but hundreds of International Students (friends of my friends) graduate each year without having to attend at least 80% of their classes. In fact, many fail to attend most lectures and a pittance of tutorials and still graduate with good grades.

Think about it. You are seen as a cash cow and the university needs you to keep their accounts in the black and their bored, fat, white, senior partners in the office. Why would they want to kick you out?

Picture and photo: CRAIG ABRAHAM